Day 56 (Or: Oops, I skipped a day!)

One of the stalwart One Thousand Days readers (one of the 27), when I pointed out that I'd skipped day 56, said that she considered it her good deed NOT to tell me that I'd made a mistake.  HA!  I love it.

But we can't just leave that hole there, can we?

No.  So here we go. 

Last night, or early this morning, in the last throws of the dream-state, when all of the wonderful and meaningful thoughts coalesce and gel into a sub-conscious lump of destiny, I dreamed the most lovely things.  I was in an old building, tall ceilings, dark wood, and glowing light, and I was teaching a small group of women a hand craft.  Something involving rose-buds and doll-making.  And toward the end of the class, the mayor came into the room and sat on the edge of the group. 

I watched her watching what we were doing, and eventually she reached in for a rosebud and started fiddling with it.  I let the others work on their projects and went and sat with the mayor and started at the beginning of the project again. 

In the dream, the mayor was very much The Mayor, but there was no political talk, I purposely refrained from drawing attention to her, or from putting her on the spot or getting a conversation going about local issues (of which there are many).  Instead, my focus was to build a bridge between The Mayor, her personal self, and the people - the others in the class.

Ramblerambleramble.  All of this, I realized upon waking, is really a symbol for the joy and hope that I feel about current projects (monkeys) and work (Leckenby Co.). Day 56 (which isn't really day 56) of One Thousand Days I build bridges through crafting.  I.  Love.  It.

56 down...and...oh you know the rest.

Day 59 (Or: The Great Monkey Maneuver)

You've been hearing about it, and now it's happened!

No, I didn't lose my mind.  And no, I haven't started a speed dating group...and no, I most certainly haven't finished my novel.  Geesh.  There's a whole lot that I haven't done.  But what I HAVE done, this morning, Small Business Saturday, is launch The Great Monkey Maneuver!

What's this, you wonder?  "Frankly, I think you HAVE lost your mind, darling." You mutter under your breath.  I heard that. 

Here's the thing.  Sock monkeys.  They're totally adorable.  And enjoyable.  And they make me laugh.  Seriously. 

I made one monkey, every stitch by hand, loving the feel of the sock and the thread, and loving the funny ears and the hillarious red butt.  And he charmed my boy and I in ways that we hadn't imagined.  And then the most amazing thing happened.  My favorite 2 year old boy came over, walked straight to the monkey, picked the monkey up by the tail, poked at a button eyeball, and immediately took the sock-turned-monkey to show his mama.  The monkey clearly belonged to him, and now he has a name - "Hoo-Hoo-Ha" - and a premanent home with a most delightful boy.

I WANT MORE OF THAT!  I want monkeys to be EVERYWHERE and I want to be the one to make that happen!

The Great Monkey Maneuver, I'll have you know, is a sock monkey and 40th birthday initiative. I will be 40 years old in one week, exactly. And in honor of my 40th birthday, I will sell 40 sock monkeys!

In case you're curious, here's the original, the loving, the adored-by-favorite-2-year-old-boy Hoo-Hoo-Ha:

And I donated this monkey to a service auction, to raise money for QUUF:

And I'll donate THIS monkey to my favorite non-profit kid place and coffee house, The Boiler Room, for their auction, coming up in December:

And the rest are yours! 

So, The Great Monkey Maneuver, is a sale of 40 monkeys, to be housed in 40 homes with 40 loving children or children at heart.  All in honor of turning 40 years old.  Because when you get old, it's important to engender the joy of being young. 

And what's more, the first 40 monkeys will come with a $4.00 discount when the lucky purchaser uses the coupon code: 40MONKEY
Yes. 

Day 58 of One Thousand Days may just be the most wonderful yet.  Monkey business.

59 down, 941 to go.

Not a day (Or: Just a Moment for a Monkey)

Well would you look at that...



I'll be darned.

Day 58 (Or: Management Says So)

If you've been paying attention, you'll know that things have died in my yard, and The Management told me to get on it.  Management, in its infinite wisdom, also let me know in no uncertain terms that the trailer, which is only halfway Fluffed, needs to be fully Fluffed by the end of the week. 

The Management thinks that the Fluffing of the trailer will help with space issues, and that inventory, business operations and the writing of hillarious blogs can be housed in the trailer, thereby freeing up living space for...er...living.

The Management refuses to pay me until I've completed the task, so I guess I should get on it.

This is what a partially fluffed trailer looks like:

Day 58 of One Thousand Days I listen to my inner manager, get off the procrastination station and make something of the space that's needed in order to make things.  That Manager sure is a slave driver.

58 down, 943 to go.

Day 57 (or: The Janitor Was Fired Long Ago)

If you hadn't noticed, we're quickly approaching the most stressful time of the year.  Councilors and therapists and pastors and Besties the world over are girding their loins for the onslaught of serious depression and blues and near-suicidal anxiety. 

And I'm not talking about the holidays.  Or S.A.D. 

I'm talking about Parent/Teacher Conferences.

Darling boy child prepped me last night for what I might expect today in the dreaded bi-annual review, by telling me that I should imagine his brain thusly:

"Mom, it's like a huge hall full of lockers, dusty and cob-webby, and the janitor was fired a long time ago.  All of the lockers but one are locked tight and rusty.  That one locker?  It's unlocked, and it has the keys to all of the other lockers, and I know I can unlock all the other locks, but I'm too lazy to get off the couch and open it."

Well.  You can't say I wasn't warned. 

Day 57 of One Thousand Days I promised the boy that after being told by his teachers that he's a bright child but he just needs to.... (fill in the blank with whatever teacher-speak seems appropriate), I would NOT sigh in that pointed way (he reports that the sigh says "CALVIN!  YOU'RE DEAD TO ME!") and should instead understand that he's a pretty awesome dude with janitor issues.

57 down, 943 to go.

Day 55: (or: Why's everything dead?)

This is dead:

So is this:

And these:

And this:

And this happened:

So I figure it's about time to put the garden to "bed".   And if I don't do it (grumble), nobody else will.  Because Prince Charming doesn't exist, and neither do little charming helper animals (my animals just leave poop for me to "stumble" across while weeding), and neither do fairy god-mothers.  Although the Soup Fairy DOES exist (there was proof of the Soup Fairy delivered straight to my door last night). 

Day 55 of One Thousand Days, I'll be my own hero and deadhead all those dead heads out there.  Or at least 1/4 of them.  Or maybe just 3 or four of them.

55 down, 945 to go.

Day 54 (Or: Nicest - er...Funniest? - Rejection EVER!)

Determined to expand my reach, I've been "networking" lately, and this email response from Noa Gavin over there at OhNoa.com, made my day!  WARNING!  F-bombs in attendance.



On Fri, Oct 28, 2011 at 11:43 AM, C. E. Leckenby  wrote:

To Whom it May Concern:

I'm most interested in joining The League of Funny Bitches. Please forward application materials to www.oneofonethousanddays.blogspot.com Perhaps, if I don't qualify for The League, I might be assigned to be a Funny Bitch sidekick? I look good in a short cape and tights.

Yours in humor,
One Thousand Days of sort of funny, but also kind of productive and sometimes instructive with a healthy helping of wine and Brie on the side.

Cara E. Leckenby

One Thousand Days

From: Noa Gavin
To: C. E. Leckenby
Sent: Monday, November 7, 2011 7:58 PM
Subject: Re: Fledgling Funny Bitch
I'm so fucking impressed with your professional email I think I should not say fuck in this one.

I've already done it twice now, so there's no point in quitting. You're on the nominations list, lady, keep on being funny!

Cheers,

Noa Gavin

OhNoa.com

Funnier Than Your Grandma

54 down, 946 to go.